Laotze's Dialogues

Tag: limitation

  • The subtle restrictions we seldom think of

    We seldom think about all the restrictions we live with.

    “How does one obtain such freedom?” was the inquiry that has persisted since I happened to come across Aurora’s video “Cure for Me“.

    What stands out is the remarkable display of unrestricted personality; the dance, masks, use of color, especially the eccentric mannerisms.

    There is certain lightness in her being, therefore the eagerness to comprehend thoroughly the source.

    How much would we benefit from more expression, from the abolition of constraints we are unaware of, our crafts by fresh and bold perspectives? However, would we be better without any weight?

    Answering the question

    The lightness we seek to grasp is not concerned with the imitation of a flashy and extravagant personality, but with finding our unique self.

    Contrary to coating ourselves with more, such expressiveness will come from stripping ourselves from the restrictions built by time, the world, memories, choices, experiences, and ourselves.

    Our role should be that of a stone sculptor rather than a painter. Instead of taking a blank canvas and applying color after color, we must chisel and shape the rock according to the vision we have.

    Letting go, rather than holding on.

    Where do we end, and the rest begin?

    In this act of unloading, we encounter a peculiar question.

    How do we know the part of the stone that we should carve?

    What part of ourselves is ‘authentic’?

    What must we remove?

    What must remain?

    Restrictions

    Consider restrictions as the glass that provides shape and structure to water. They incline us toward a particular behavior and way of being.

    Some are given, others self-imposed.

    Some conventions are favorable, others detrimental.

    The latter may make us withered and negate the space for ideas to thrive. Constraints affect our results, in the same way a tree would bend its form if encountered with an obstacle while growing.

    Here is when boldness is necessary because restrictions are not set in stone. We need to defy established ideas and concepts. The amount of audacity is something we must learn to adjust.

    However, being chained up would prove as impractical as being so light that we can’t walk on the floor.

    Pick wisely your restrictions

    We are sculptors, by no means do we want to be left with a bunch of debris, nor with a solid and unrefined block of stone.

    We, as much as our crafts, can relish the fresh perspectives and unheard-of ideas, likewise, we can find useful the order, procedures, structures, and conventions.

    We all need to agree on some things;

    letters to convey words,

    words for paragraphs,

    paragraphs for essays,

    and essays to convey ideas,

    even if such a task may prove harder than it seems despite agreeing on meaning.

    Some restrictions will enhance, rather than diminish, as long as we know what we desire. Therefore, renewing our goals and clear judgment play a crucial aspect in the matter.

    Our intuition, taste, standards, experiences, and choices are examples of elements that give shape to what we do, and make it unique.

    However, their application, or absence, should be a deliberate decision.

    Consider the shape you want to create

    You have in front of you a stone block.

    Would you leave it intact, raw, and natural?

    Would it serve better as debris for construction material?

    Should we leap and decide to unveil a shape out of it?

    As happens with ourselves, our craft, and such block, our intent is what represents a compass in a sea of endless options.

    We must ponder on the existence of our restrictions, choices, memories, experiences, and environment. Once we are conscious of their presence, of their weight, it falls into our reach

    to defy them,

    to allow them,

    to play with them to obtain a shape and charm we envisioned in our mind,

    and then obtain lightness.

  • The best of ourselves

    Giving the best of ourselves is not always what we want to do.

    There is a distorted idea of effort that propels us to push ourselves to unreasonable extents. How can we finish a book monthly when we can’t read a page daily?

    The reality is if we don’t look at such landmarks for what they are, a vision or a goal rather than an immediate action or a metric to judge ourselves, we won’t be able to celebrate the tiny everyday victories or we will feel discouraged at being so far in comparison.

    We need to understand giving the best of ourselves is not about other people or pushing ourselves mindlessly.

    What is at risk is not getting where we want to be, or even worse, not enjoying the path along the way.

    A toxic notion of effort

    We have to do eighty push-ups right after waking up, study for eight hours straight, then work for 14 hours.

    Oh, don’t forget the workout.

    If we can’t meet such criteria, we must be doing something wrong.

    The issue with this particular line of thinking is not the exaggeration of the example, nor our capacity to accomplish such feats, but ignoring that development works by small progressive improvements.

    Achievements or goals could be used as inspiration, lessons, or marks that we will surpass one day. The appeal of expanding our horizons or having high standards is undeniable.

    However, giving the best of ourselves goes beyond doing a certain amount of reps, or sticking to a book for hours.

    An admirable example

    There is a man who goes to the outdoor gym often.

    He looks his years; gray hair, quite slim, always wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and shoes not meant to workout.

    What stands out is not the technique for his push-ups, nor the amount of reps, indeed we can observe his obvious struggle against gravity. What shines is his will to do his part.

    It would make no sense for him to compare himself against his peers in terms of resistance or strength. His focus is on being constant and pushing his limits further each day. He measures himself against his past self.

    In him we can find a clue as to what it means to give the best of ourselves; knowing our limits and trying to expand them.

    Our dynamic limitations

    A limit is the maximum amount of something; the amount of time we can spend reading, reps of some exercise, or information we can process in a given time.

    However, limits are not static. They can be expanded or contracted, depending on whether we push them.

    Limits represent imaginary lines that could serve as an indicator of our progress. If we can do only 10 push-ups, we aim for 11. If we can only concentrate on a text for 5 minutes, we aim for 10. In such a fashion, we will stretch this mental line.

    Limits may be set wrongly in our minds, however. We are capable of much more than we believe. There lies the importance of knowing ourselves.

    The only way to discover where our true limitations are is by experimentation. We need to check if we need more or less weight.

    The actual definition

    Such an effort is trying to go over that line every time, notice that little progress, and try to surpass it the next day.

    But giving the best of ourselves means more than that.

    Some day we will not exceed the line, so our objective should be the line.

    Some days we will not reach the line, so our objective should be going as close as we can to that mark.

    Some days we won’t have time, nor mental strength, despite this we keep giving all we have, as little as it may be.

    As described in “Make any activity an immersive experience”, we need to pour ourselves into the task.

    We need to give the best of ourselves

    There are factors we do not control; genetics, circumstances, materials, and whatnot.

    But giving the best of ourselves is one of the things we have control over.

    That is what the man at the outdoor gym inspires; it doesn’t matter our current level on anything, if we do the best we can each time, and try to surpass our current limitations, we are bound to thrive.

    But, such a thing does not happen by itself. We will need self-knowledge to tell when to push ourselves further, or when to be kind, have a tighter or a looser grip, recognize our true limits, and expand them.

    The process implies a conscious effort and documentation of our journey.