We can be too distracted with what may be, what is not, and what should be, that we fail to see what is and what is becoming.

Everything changes. The realization comes easier when the regular flow of our lives is disrupted: a goodbye, a disaster, or the end of a cycle. For me, it comes in the form of a graduation, gazing into my mother’s salt-and-pepper hair, the observation of a flower blooming, then withering, and finally being replaced by a new bud weeks later.

Our perspective of change is one of the few things we have control over. When we consider change and how fragile what surrounds us is, fear is a natural reaction. However, it could also bring experiences that go beyond our imagination; change could also be exciting. Our perspective can surpass our personal bias, leaving aside what would be good or bad for us, enabling us to reach a deeper understanding of change and to make better decisions.

Change can be scary

We can see how frightening change can be when we consider how its outcome does not even resemble the idea we had, how our grasp fail to dictate exactly the path it takes, and specially how fragile is what surrounds us, like the presence of people in our lives, what we do and the means to do it, the skill and the time.

At the mere hint of change, we may be tempted to hold fast to what we fear losing; however, there is a better alternative than succumbing to it. We use that powerful emotion as a reminder of how much it matters to us, as an opportunity to feel fortunate that we still enjoy its presence and can make the most of it.

We’ve built a sand castle, but the waves start to clash against our walls. We may persist and try to hold our towers; however, the tide is rising. It isn’t madness wanting our work and effort to remain, but going against the sea.

Change can be exciting

We can look at the other end of the spectrum; change can also be exciting.

Change keeps its course, and still we can fail to predict its outcome. But this randomness can be something we look for. Change can present us with experiences that we could have never conceived, a growth we could have never obtained otherwise, a side of the world and ourselves we have never believed existed.

If we were to stay within our shell, we would see nothing. It is change that puts our world upside down and demands that we make use of what we have.

Yes, we may not have the same sand castle. But we can always rebuild. We have the opportunity to choose a better terrain, pick an innovative style, or decide we want a completely different structure.

Change can be simply change

We can see change beyond ourselves, not just in relation to us, or how they may represent a benefit or a loss.

There is fickleness in how we regard good and bad. How quickly the bad turns to good when it happens to benefit us in the long run, so we are sour, angry, or sad until we aren’t, and the same happens to the good.

Whether from fear or desire, we can be overwhelmed by what may be, what is not, and what we think it should be. At those times, we could use the clarity that comes from looking at change beyond ourselves.

So, we should leave aside momentarily what we would like or dislike, how it would impact us, and concern ourselves with what happened, why, and how, and the answers may have nothing to do with us.

We obtain a deeper understanding of the nature of what we have at hand, and we are more prepared to decide how to act.

The sea just was being the sea; the tide rose, the waves clashed, the currents kept their momentum. Our sand castle happened to be there.

Get familiar with the idea of change

We must get familiar with the idea of change and be aware of our perspective on it.

We don’t have to wait for a disruption in our regular life to appreciate change; do a constant effort to notice tiny changes, contrast brand new objects with the ones that have experience the passing of time, observe the growth of other people and your own, see how your paths drift apart or come together, consider the absence of what now may be gone.

Our perspective on change is one of the few aspects we have control over, whether it is scary, exciting, or just a matter of being. When we heed our emotions, the pressing fear or the excitement for the future, they show us what matters to us and guide our actions from different perspectives. By looking at things just the way they are, we acquire a more objective understanding and clear our judgment. With both, we are more prepared to navigate change.

What the sea has taken is gone. It falls into our hands what to do next. We hear different counsels and decide.